I am a foreigner in Poland and can answer the question easily in one word ‘fear’, fear of economic loss and poverty and being poor like in the 1990. Polish magazines and forums can analysis it all they want, but I can see it objectively from the outside looking in. Polish people have fewer and fewer kids to the point that the population is shrinking is because Polish people are obsessed with material security. They want to build that fence around their stone house (common in Polish homes) and being all set in life.
The new generation is being programmed to override one million years of human evolution that tells them to procreate freely and often and replace it with a selfish feeling of material comfort. All because many Polish people’s new matra is ‘we need more (money) to have more children’. Although this generation is richer than ever, Poles live in fear they do not have enough money. Let me tell you this. I worked on Wall Street, you will never feel like you have enough money.
Take it from a post crisis American; once you have a house and car and vacation, you will feel spiritually empty. Life is a spiritual journey. You will feel empty if you do not have a family that jumps on you and wraps their arms around you, as soon as you walk in the door. Think of the movie Family Man’ with Nichoas Cage. Do not build your spiritual house on sand. Think of the man in the Bible who set up his life economically, yet God took it from this world that very night or the story of Lazarus.
Why Polish people started to replace children with last-minute trips to Egypt, a new Toyota Yaris and a 60 meter flat
There was a mentality shift in Polish society to focus on the material and money. Post communist – new capitalist families finding their way in the 1990s and 2000s conveyed a new ethic to their children. Buy apartment, even if it is 60 meters, before you start living. I understand why, because they grew up with so little and did have a hard life. But so what? We all as humans suffer in different ways, and can not insulate ourselves from this.
The new generation parrots this collective unconsciousness with ‘ how can we afford to have kids’. The reason we do not have many kids is we have no money. I say this is nonsense. Do not listen to your fears (or rather the fears of your parents).
That is the sin of greed and lust for material things talking. People all over the world in less developed countries than rich fancy EU Poland (and yes Poland is a relatively rich country) have many kids and the children are happy and so are their parents.
Polish expectations about wealth in contrast with other nations
Further, Polish people have such rigid expectations about life and they are high. They think they get out of school and with their degree, they will get a good job and work for an “emerytura”. ‘News flash’, this is the new economy and nothing is guaranteed. Life is an art not a science. Just because life is not going along a perfect track do not deny yourself the birthright of self having kids.
Examples of poor people with a big happy family
For example, even in ‘richer’ countries like the USA where I am from many people buy their first house after 50. They have had many children and live happy lives without worrying they are renting a small apartment with no more. They have had five kids like my parents did or nine kids like my friend Paul has or six kids like my friend Jose who still does not have a house. Their kids are all happy nice and well-adjusted.
In contrast, in Poland every Polish couple I know has to own an apartment, have a good income, leave the children in day care or with Babcia and a good car and basically be ‘all set’. Then they start thinking of having one or two kids because that is all they can afford. My reply is ‘really’? Where is your sense of life and adventure? Kids in my area of the USA, are running all over the yard and they have no money and everyone is happy like out of a Disney movie. It is only the rich and self-absorbed who think different. There are many Polish girls who are serial monogamists instead of getting married as they delay their lives until they are in a better situation (economic) to have a family. But I have news for you sister, by then it will be too late.
One lady told me they want to wait until they can afford an English tutor for their children before they have kids. I said ‘really’, just live in the UK even to do a blue-collar job, for a few years and they will be native speakers better than the richest families in Poland. Or teach your kids English yourself by reading to them. But this Polish gal was a career lady. What a nightmare.
Is waiting to have children until they were rich or comfortable, what your grandparents did who had nothing? Is that what John Paul II taught or have Poles forgotten already? Is that what any of the Indian or Spanish or African friends I have in the USA do? It’s a cultural myth in some sterile cultures you need money to have a family.
In the USA I do taxes and see what people make. One of my friend makes a fraction of what my friends in Poland make and he has seven kids and they are happy. I know what he makes as I do his taxes.
- Whatever it is, maybe Polish people have a sense of entitlement and a feeling of self-consciousness or lack of confidence that they are some how behind the west and want to catch up. My message is get over it. Poland is a great nation, but will be a footnote in history unless values change.
Let me tell you from someone who has live in Poland a good part of their life, and travelled the world, Poland is a rich country and if you are not having kids because of fear of lack, it is your psychological problem not reality.
Poland has things other countries do not have to raise a child
Consider cultures that see children as a blessing not a burden. Children are a blessing and take little to no money to rise besides a roof over your head. Your Medical care is free in Poland as is education and even daycare. What else do you want? I see a lot of fat Polish youngsters on the street and none are starving.
Good bye Poland hello Asian people
I am sorry to sound hard but Polish people have such high material expectations I can only classify as greed and pride and the price will be the Polish nation and people will disappear eventually. It will become demographically Asian most likely. It will not happen today but extrapolate out the demographics. I love Polish culture but also Asian culture. It looks like the Poles do not stand a chance right now if you project out a few generations. It is simple mathematics. The population of Poland is declining and the reason is clear. Polish people are focusing on money rather than family.
A warning for Polish girls
Many Polish girls read feminist Western magazines and silly books from Empik and watch TVN serale, and get programmed into thinking ‘having fun’ and develop your career first and experience life is the way to go. My reply is, why not experience life with your own family? Forget the money, do not listen to your parents fears they project on your and have a bunch of kids. There is no adventure is greater. What greater career could there be than having rasing children?
- Polish girls if you wonder why your guy is not committing? ‘Why buy the cow if the milk is for free’. See feminism and materialism are like thieves in the night that take the sweetness and joy from the one of the most basic things in life, and that is having a family. If your guy is not committing to you it is because you are too hip and cool and give up your virtue so he is not inspired to marry you.
- Polish guys are often afraid to marry because they will be tied down or it will not work. My message is, find a girl who is moral and good and you will not have to worry. If girls did not give it up so easy today in Polish society then guys would marry more because guys need companionship. Its human evolution.
So the young new Poles can make fun of the Catholic church or idolizes the West all they want, and keep chasing ‘almighty Zloty’, and blame the economy for everything, but this will result in the disappearance of Poland. Children are always a blessing. Money does not buy you happiness.
I am no conservative by the way, I am a free thinking libertarian. But the facts are the facts, Poland is getting smaller and smaller and the reason is material greed or at least fear of lack. Get over your fears and have some kids. Polish girls listen up, don’t get smart too late.